Alright, so where did we leave off.. CBB (Cool Bad Boy) is about to be found out by DJJ (Douchey Journalist Julia) because he was stupidly careless leaving his map on his bed. #ReverendIdiot has miraculously healed from almost being burned alive and is now feeling the wrath of Big Jim. And HEC (#HumanEdwardCullen) is creepy as ever, still holding Angie hostage in the bunker and spreading the word around that CBB beat him up. Now, onto this week’s episode… [SPOILER WARNING]
DJJ is now acting obvious, awkward and obviously awkward. The people are getting angry at the lack of answers after so many days and Kickass Linda tries to keep the peace while Reverend Idiot bursts into the crowd with a bible and blathering on, reciting scripture. Kickass Linda collapses. Cut to Male DJ guy, who also collapses. DJJ brings him in and the hospital says that there’s a lot of people suddenly coming down with a fever.
Psycho HEC brings Angie her junior prom dress. She tries to sweet talk him and he likes that she’s acting like how she was “before the dome came down”. She seductively convinces him to turn around, making him think she’s changing into the dress but instead reaches for the smuggled First Aid kit scissors and tries to stab him with it. Yes, tries to. Even with his full trust and his back to her, she still doesn’t manage to sneak-attack him successfully. Slices his hand and HEC licks the blood off his hand. Hmm maybe this Edward Cullen isn’t so Human after all.
Deep HEC Quote #1:
“You can leave when you’re ready. But not before.”
Oh, NOW Mom #2 is around, huh? Where were you last episode?! (Huh. Looks like Mom #2 is quite the doctor.. she’s now been pulled in to help out at the hospital) Brilliant Brother and Moody Teen are no longer seizuring, and seemingly fine walking through the hospital with the two moms. BB spots HEC getting his hand checked out at the hospital and asks if he’s seen his sister, Angie. HEC plays it cool saying he saw her around a few days ago. In the mean time, Angie’s struggling to find a way out, pulls loose an old water pipe from up high, slips, passes out and falls to the ground while water is pouring into the sealed bunker. Of course.
DJJ confronts CBB about the map she swiped from his bag. He gets angry, she feels faint. Confrontation over. … for now. Mom #2 determines that all the illness looks like meningitis. Because none of the other doctors that are there would have figured that out. And because of how contagious it is, she determines a quarantine needs to happen at the hospital. So who do they put in charge of making sure no one leaves? Human Edward Cullen. Yup. The mentally unstable guy now has a gun in a hysterical clinic.
DJJ, weak & sick, stumbles to find out that Male DJ has info on her husband’s whereabouts. So does HEC. HEC of course takes the chance to sell CBB out. DJJ wants to leave but HEC won’t let her. She manages to find a way out anyway. So Idiot Douchey Journalist will get the rest of the town sick. You are hereby re-named IDJ. Big Jim and CBB team up as the Dynamic Duo as they go to the pharmacy only to find it already ransacked. Wow, he really does earn the name Reverend Idiot. Rev took all the drugs and Dynamic Duo find him just as he’s throwing all the pills into a fire.
And, as the TV formula goes, you introduce a random person in the episode and their only purpose is to die in that episode, or one soon after. Like the ricochet-bullet cop, like Rogue Cop and now sick Kickass Linda’s sick 3rd grade teacher.
Deep HEC Quote #2:
“I believe in this town. I believe in my dad. I believe in you.”
MT is taking incessant amounts of phone pics of BB for some reason. They discuss how their seizures came about when they touched. BB (brilliant boy that he is) suggests to tape them touching again to see what happens. They come to, review the tape and see themselves seizure in synchronization before BB – while still seizuring – sits up and shushes at the camera before lying back down. Their conclusion? That they shouldn’t tell anyone because the dome doesn’t want them to. Yep, the DOME doesn’t want them to tell anyone they mutter weird things, in sync, about stars every time they touch. The DOME doesn’t want anyone else to know they seizure when they touch. The dome.
Kickass Linda sings the praises of HEC to Big Jim. Big Jim asks HEC if he’s ever considered a job in law enforcement. Big grin on his face as he walked away. Kickass Linda gives him a badge. Cue even bigger grin. IDJ finds out her husband spent all their money. CBB tells her he’s an enforcer, making sure people paid up on bets. She asks where he is and rather than tell her he’s dead, CBB suggests he probably skipped town. He takes his leave and vacates her home while BB offers up his to MT and the moms.
Creepy-ass Reverend Idiot , creeping on the porch swing at Big Jim’s house in the dark. He brings a bag full of cash and gives it to Big Jim. It’s his share of the money from the mysterious propane. Angie’s intermittently screaming and Big Jim finally hears something through the kitchen faucet. He goes out to investigate and opens the door to find her sitting there on the bunk bed, and island in a room full of water.
Hmm don’t know if this episode should have a theme of Meningitis Quarantine, or “The One Where Human Edward Cullen Gets Deep & Philosophical.”